Go Big or Go Home

I used to write. A lot. My mom has always said, “You have a way with words.” I stopped writing a while back because I had decided that I didn’t want anyone to know how much emotional pain I was in and if I wrote it down, my struggles would become my story.

After several years of hurt and discomfort, prayer and reflection, I woke up one morning and realized that I had FINALLY made it through the pain. On September 22, 2016, (coincidentally the Fall Equinox) I was in the gym in the middle of BF Tennessee and stopped in my footsteps and started crying. I asked myself, “What am I feeling and where am I feeling this in my body?” For the first time in so many years I felt what I can only describe as “GLEE.” I felt it in my heart as if it was going to explode. I was alone, single, and in a city where I didn’t know a soul. I felt pure happiness in my heart. To some it may seem silly. To me it was a weight being lifted from my body and mind. So many years of worry, sadness and fear of never being able to make it on my own, I never thought I would feel this kind of “glee” with no reason. I finally got a glimpse of “ME” back. I still have hard days, but just to be able to have this emotion was HUGE for someone who never thought she would see the light. Oddly enough, on that same day, a friend asked me to share my insight for other women going through what I had and what advice I could give. Here is what I told her:

1. You will make it through this.
2. You will be happier than you ever have been.
3. You do not need someone in your life to make you happy.
4. Go Big Or Go Home. I decided a few months ago that if I was going to Fuck Up, I was going to make it monumental. No more little mistakes and tiny goals. My life was going to become a bunch of mountains to climb and accomplishments to achieve.

Today I give gratitude. Mostly to my mom. In 1978 she used to play Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive” and owned that song like you wouldn’t believe. My mom taught me how to survive, how to take care of myself, how to be a loving and kind person, and how to be OK with all of my flaws. So my advice to any of you out there struggling with the pain is…Go Big Or Go Home. The more mistakes you make the more lessons you learn and the more chances you have to grow. Go Get It! Go Big Or Go Home!

Mothers’ Day Gratitude

Over the years, I have mentioned my dad in my blogs and on Facebook. With Mothers’ Day coming, I thought it would be a perfect time to share some thoughts about my mom.

A Dutch immigrant at the age of 11, my mom came to the U.S. on a boat with her family of 10 in hopes of finding a better life. None of them spoke English and my Opa was to work on a farm in Louisiana but that fell through and they ended up in Illinois. My Oma was a seamstress. Life couldn’t have been easy for any of my mom’s family. I have heard stories of all 9 kids sharing one bicycle with Opa (no automobile). I’m sure Mom’s self-esteem wasn’t what it should have been when she met my dad. Dad enlisted in the Marines and left for Vietnam by choice. Mom was pregnant with my sister, Sonya. After Vietnam, I came along. I’ve been told that I was the apple of my daddy’s eye. I was always close with my dad and thought he was larger than life. My mom spent many years just trying to keep the family together while protecting me and Sonya from reality. Their tumultuous marriage lasted 13 years. Almost two years after they divorced, the three of us left West Virginia and Mom married my stepfather, Denny, a Wisconsin dairy farmer. They have been married over 34 years.

My mom made a lot of tough decisions and did all she could to give us a good life. Back then, I didn’t see how things really were. Sympathy for my dad and many emotional struggles as a teenager kept me from having the kind of relationship with my mom that I should have had. I didn’t appreciate her as much as I could have, as I think most teenagers don’t. I now have love and peace within my heart for what all three of my parents have been to me.

As we get older, I believe that our hearts get softer. Whether it be through reflection, regret, or maybe just an understanding of what our parents went through for us, I like to think that we all come to a time where we are purely grateful for what they did and the sacrifices they made for us.

So, here is my gratitude to my mom.
Thank you, Mom for….

Sewing almost every stitch of our clothes as kids, my prom dress, and my wedding dress.
Teaching me how to make myself a cup of tea.
The time you took to teach me to read so that I knew how to before starting Kindergarten.
Being the Popsicle Lady to the neighborhood.
Singing Dutch nursery rhymes and songs to us that I still remember.
Fixing my hair every day before school and the banana curls for special occasions.
Taking us to Starvaggi Pool every nice day of the summer.
The popcorn that you always had ready for me when I got home from school.
Attending every parent teacher conference without ever complaining.
Being the prettiest, hottest mom who made all the boys ogle over you. (Don’t know if you ever knew that.)
Taking us to gymnastics and getting frost bite in the run down warehouse that classes were held.
Teaching us Dutch traditions and cooking us Dutch and Indonesian food.
Driving me and Sonya back to Illinois to see Oma and Opa even though I know you were scared out of your mind (and more scared that Oma would find out and worry).
Being smart enough to get your GED and your U.S. Citizenship when I was little.
Sucking it up on all of the hunting and fishing trips and for keeping my innocent eyes from seeing how things really were.
Giving me the personality traits of a caretaker, a helper, and a kind hearted person. As I get older I realize how much I am like you.
Staying in a troubled marriage for us AND being brave enough to leave the marriage even though we were still little.
Taking us to Holland when I was 8 to meet all of your family.
Working a job in the Steel Mill just to make ends meet after the divorce.
Taking the leap and getting us out of a bad situation. Without that decision, I wouldn’t be who I am today.
Quitting smoking cold turkey. (Something I have always admired and never told you.)
Making it through the tragic loss of your parents and still taking care of us.
Being such an open minded and easy going mom that my friends always loved coming to our house.
Teaching me to cook, sew, and do needlepoint and counted cross stitch.
Being proud of me regardless of my grades or accomplishments and telling me always to just, “Do your best.”
Letting me stay in the house and bake and clean instead of always having to be in the barn.
Bringing me split pea soup home from Oma’s whenever she made it.
Teaching me gardening, freezing, canning, and how to make applesauce.
Telling me to stop being so hard on myself all the time.
Teaching me about hard work and how nothing comes easy. I give you credit for helping me become a successful business woman.
Protecting us and keeping me in the dark about things I wasn’t old enough to face.
Being as supportive as you could be during my troubled teenage years.
Always having food in the house that I wanted and liked.
Cooking special meals for me and Sonya so we could eat after school and not have to wait until after chores.
The weekends home from college when you washed my clothes and sent me home with food.
Being a strong voice and teaching me to fearlessly speak my mind.
Not having a heart attack when Denny let me climb the silo the first time (and every time after that).
The sleepless nights, the countless days of worry, and for never giving up on me.
Loving my Sophie the way you have since she was born.
Going out of your way to fly to visit when I needed you to babysit because we had seminar.
Not judging me because my house isn’t as neat and clean as yours.
The hours you spent in a hay wagon helping us unload when you could have just made us do it.
Being such an amazing artist and making me so proud of all of the beautiful work you do.
Trying to love my dogs.
Laughing with our teasing of your funny spelling mistakes and pronunciation errors without getting your feelings hurt.
Being the one person who always encouraged me to write and for telling me constantly, “You have a way with words.”
Putting up with my drama, my moods, my quirks, and my stubbornness.
Encouraging us to have great relationships with our cousins. My childhood memories with them visiting us on the farm are some of the best.
Being one of my favorite people to have a glass of wine or cup of tea with.
A Bazillion games of cards and Mexican Train Dominoes.
Teaching me how to speak some Dutch, including cursing.
Taking such good care of yourself over the years and making me so proud you are my beautiful and healthy mom.
Asking me for health advice and believing in what I do.
Telling me how proud you are of me.
All of the vacations you spent driving 14 hours to come and see me and my family.
Enjoying antiquing and window shopping as much as I do.
Laughing at my outgoing ways and saying, “You always had a gift to gab.”
Teaching us the importance of a hug and an “I love you.”
Always making sure that when I come home you have food that I can and want to eat in the house.
Having such a fun sense of humor and making me grateful for the time we have together.
Being the best example I can think of as a strong woman.

I could go on and on for days about my mom and all of the amazing things she did for us and taught us. But most importantly she taught us to be independent. She has said to me, “I always wanted my girls to be able to take care of themselves and never depend on someone to take care of them.” Looking at me and Sonya, I can tell you that she surely accomplished that.

As I have aged, I have come to realize that my mom, despite so many obstacles, did a fabulous job at raising us. Being a parent is a challenge within itself. My mom deserves a medal for all she went through for us. I didn’t always appreciate it. For that, Mom, I am sorry. Becoming a mom was humbling for me and I assure you I have made many more mistakes than you and am not done making them yet.

About 7 years ago, my friend, Amber Kinser, and I were having a talk over coffee about the struggles of parenting. I will never forget what she said. “All we can do is try our best with the tools we have been given,” she said, “and hope that someday when our kids are our age, they won’t be talking over coffee about what horrible parents we were.”

My mom did the best she could with the limitations she had, the challenges she faced, and helped me become the woman I am today.

Mom, you are among my list of heroes. I love you. Happy Mothers’ Day.

No Phone Call Needed

When I take a vacation, a large portion of my suitcase is filled with books to read while I relax. I don’t own a Kindle and don’t have any desire to do so, since I love carrying my paper books to the beach.

At home, I typically read business growth and personal power books. At least one of my vacation reads tends to be either an Augusten Burroughs or a Mitch Albom book. While Burroughs makes me laugh throughout most of his writing, Albom makes me cry. This past family vacation I took The First Phone Call From Heaven by Mitch Albom.

Needless to say, I spent hours upon hours in a cleansing bawl while lying in the sand. Some might find it crazy; that a person would put themselves through the agony of reading a book that made them cry like that. I actually enjoy it, because in the end I have learned something or reflected upon my life and come to the end with intentions of making myself a better person.

Without ruining the story or giving away the end, I will tell you that the book is about phone calls coming to various people in a community. These calls come from someone from their life who has passed on and is calling them to give them messages and talk to them for just a short period of time. The reasoning behind the calls is to either complete unfinished business or to reassure a loved one that the deceased is at peace in heaven and to tell those still alive that there is such a place as heaven that it is peaceful and beautiful.

The book in itself isn’t really what made me cry. What brought me to tears was reflection upon my own life and who is gone and who is still with me. I’m pretty lucky. The only people in my life who have left the earth are my grandparents and a few other relatives, including (but not limited to) my Aunt Dingena and my Uncle Jim, whom I loved dearly. I am blessed to still have the rest of my family and all those people I am close with whom I consider “family.”

The most important thing that came to my mind, though, was the thought that if I were to lose anyone in my life, would I regret that the relationship wasn’t what I would want it to be if I had no chance of ever talking to them again or getting the “phone call from heaven” as the book is about.

In sentimental tears, I seriously thought about all of my relationships and decided that it was going to be part of my mission to make sure that my relationships were pure and good and that I was the best version of myself for my family and friends.

Over the years, I have made many mistakes, held grudges, not forgiven, and not been the best at relationships. As I have gotten older, I have matured and tried to focus more on being kind rather than being right. Sometimes this has meant apologizing when I really didn’t think I had done anything wrong. Other times, it has meant letting go of my ego and being the first to make a phone call in order to make peace. Whatever the case, years of learning how to be humble and forgiving has had its challenges and I believe that with experience I only get better at it. Learning to have patience and to love unconditionally is something that comes with practice.

As I have accepted the somewhat challenging goal of working on the person I need to be in order to keep my relationships healthy, I ask you to do two things:

First, reflect on your relationships. Is there someone that you may need to reach out to in order to “fix” a broken relationship before it is too late? I hope not. But if there is, I wish for you the strength to overcome and make amends even if you know in your heart that you are right. I send you peace so that one day you don’t wish you could receive a phone call from heaven.

Secondly, ask yourself if there is someone in your life whom you haven’t seen in a while that you would regret the distance if you were to lose them. I did this and came to the shocking realization that I had let life and time get away from me and haven’t seen my dad for nearly 8 years. I leave this week to go to visit him just so we can go fishing and spend time together. Yesterday, my mom gave me some of the best advice she has ever given in three simple words. She said, “Just be patient.”

It’s interesting that the people who spend a lot of time around me have noticed that I’ve been slightly sentimental lately. It was brought to my attention when one of my friends, Geri, said to me the other day, “You’re a living Mitch Albom book right now.” Maybe the non-stop tears in my eyes gave that away. If being sappy and gushy are crimes, then I am guilty….and I’m OK with that.

New Year’s Tolerations

Not a fan of New Year’s Resolutions, I spend time setting my goals by October 1st each year. It has been proven that it takes 90 days to become clear on what you want in life. This year, as with every other, come January 1st, I hear of people’s resolutions and I cringe. Their words are full of things they want to stop doing and “get rid of.” So, this year, I decided to make a list of my New Year’s Tolerations. Instead of saying what I DON’T want for 2014, here is my list of what I have decided I AM going to attract into my life in the year to come.
1. Positivity-In 2014, I’m going to only attract positive things into my world. Got something negative to say? Go away. And, if I do decide that even though you are a negative person and I want to keep you in my life…I’ve got a Magical Rubber Wall. Your negativity will bounce right off me. BOING!
2. Love-I’m so exhausted at hearing what people hate. What you hate, hates you back. So why not state what you love? I love my patients, friends, family, flowers, sunshine, warm fuzzy footie pajamas, a nice glass (bottle) of red wine, the sound the rain makes against my windows on a warm summer day, big belly laughs, espresso….I could go on about the things I love. I choose to forget the things I hate. Oh, and I love juicy pear Jelly Belly Jelly Beans.
3. Feeling Good-What is this thing I hear people always saying, “But I feel bad!”? Enough with the feeling bad! Why not decide that you are only going to accept the words and actions of others that make you feel good. Stop with the guilt. Guilt is a senseless emotion. Decide that you will no longer allow others to make you feel guilty. Get it out of your life and start feeling good for every action you take.
4. Faith-Having once been a very fearful person, the turning point in my life was when my mentor taught me that Faith and Fear cannot coexist. As long as you are faithful that everything will always work out and that The Universe brings you the things that you desire if you work hard enough to attract them into your life, you will rid yourself of your fears. Spend time affirming your faith that only good things come your way and…POOF! They will! It’s just that simple.
5. Nice People-I’m not a fan of the word “nice” but I don’t know a better way to describe the opposite of Mean People. I hear people talking about each other in negative ways every day. Look at social media and you can always see some person bashing someone else. Don’t like me? Don’t be in my life. Don’t like what I have to say? Don’t be my friend. Period. I’d rather not have your friendship than find out you have bad things to say behind my back.
6. Being Accountable-In 2014, I’m going to make myself accountable every day and ask the same of those around me. Excuses are for losers. If I give you one, call me out on it and make me accountable for my responsibilities.
7. Good Service-As a business owner in a service based industry, I expect good service at the businesses where I choose to spend my money. In the past, I have fallen into a trap of feeling too bad (see #3) to leave a business that I have been loyal to for years even though the service is not up to my standards. No more. This year, I am not going to give my time and money to places that don’t treat their customers like I treat mine.
8. Stopping To Smell The Roses-Have you been told you move too fast and don’t ever take time to relax? Do what I did. Break your foot. That will slow you down! This year, I will take more time to enjoy my life, breathe deeply, and “chill.” I accepted my broken foot as a message from The Universe that I needed to do just that. But don’t make me accountable (See #6) if I still walk 10 feet ahead of you, I just walk fast! (Sorry, Rob)
9. Belly Laughter-You may remember seeing this in my “Love” section. I decided it deserved its own number. I love laughing to the point of crying and the person who makes me do it best is Sophie. This year, I’m going to laugh as much as possible and stop taking myself so damn seriously.
10. Promptness-If you’re not early, you’re late. Most of the people that know me know how important it is to me to be on time. “Running late” stresses me out. I have the clock set on my bathroom vanity for 15 minutes later than what it is just so it “looks” later to me. I know. It’s odd. But it keeps me on the ball in the morning. By the same token, I expect others to be on time. I wait 10 minutes for others (without a phone call) and that is all. Time is my most precious commodity. Don’t waste mine and I won’t waste yours.
11. Confrontation-It’s very simple. If I do something you don’t like, tell me. We hold in hurts and anger when it would be much easier to confront situations and let them go. Looking back at my own life, I know so many of the hurt feelings and pains I harbored were false truths and would have been easily worked through if I would have just had the courage to confront. What’s worse, having a small fight about a situation or having hurt feelings for decades? Yeah, I thought so.
12. Dreams-I’ve decided that I don’t spend enough time dreaming. In a world filled with busy-ness and stress, I don’t think most of us do take time to dream every day. I’m going to dream every day this year and welcome you to as well.
13. Forgiveness-Want to feel the biggest release of your life? Decide this year to forgive. Forgive every one for every wrong they did to you. It doesn’t mean you think they are right. They don’t even have to KNOW you forgave them. Let it go! You can lift the weight of the world off your shoulders when you learn that forgiveness is a choice you make to let go of the past and accept all future positivity into your life.
14. Gratitude-Giving thanks is one of my favorite things to do. If you spend a little time each day giving thanks for not only your possessions, but the good things in your life, you will find that more good comes. Nature abhors a vacuum, and as you give thanks you create an empty space in your heart for more love to come. This year, I have decided to be accountable (See #6) for giving gratitude for at least 3 things each day and write them down. Want to really push your limits? Start thanking The Universe for even the bad things that come your way, because even the negative things that happen in your life have reason and by giving gratitude for the lessons learned, you will create more abundance in your life.

Here’s to an amazing 2014, and all of the things you decide you will tolerate this year!

Abundant Love and Respect,
Dawn

Forgiveness and Fear

Through the past few years of personal growth, I have developed different strategies to overcome what may be considered two of the biggest obstacles that keep us from having what we want in life. Forgiveness and fear have both paralyzed me at times and through trial and error I have developed a few ways to get beyond them and work to become a better person.

Forgiveness of others and of oneself can be difficult. At times, choosing to be a victim is one that we make. Lack of forgiveness allows those who have wronged us to maintain power over our emotions. Forgiveness can be so freeing and allow us to move beyond pain and grow as individuals.

Fear can stop us dead in our tracks and keep us from making decisions, finding happiness, and letting go of past challenges. By removing fears, we can allow ourselves the freedom to experience all that there is in life.

Both techniques in removing fear and giving forgiveness are considered “pattern interrupts.” A pattern interrupt is a way to change a person’s present state. We all have behavior patterns that are habits. Pattern can be interrupted easily by any unexpected or sudden movement or response.

These tools may help you:

Forgiveness:
The moment you feel that someone has wronged you, your feelings are hurt, or even when you are embarrassed over your own actions or behaviors, immediately recognize the feeling….STOP! Say out loud, “I forgive you.”

Whether it be forgiveness for someone else or of yourself, merely by stopping the pattern of giving into feelings of anger, hatred, sadness, resentment, or shame, one can much more easily let go of the pain. Even if you don’t immediately feel the forgiveness, saying it out loud makes it “real” and allows for the heart to heal.

Fear:
The biggest struggle many people have with fear is the immediate response they have when bad or unexpected things happen to them that may not be what was desired. Fear can send individuals into a downward spiral and then it seems as though more and more negative things come to them.

You can learn to recognize that pit-in-the-stomach feeling when you are anxious or scared and….STOP! Hold your arms out wide, lift your head up, look to the sky, and say, “Thank you, Universe! I am grateful and open myself up to learn the valuable lesson you have to teach me from this.”

Whether or not you actually feel gratitude for the bad event is irrelevant. What matters is that you are interrupting the pattern of your past habits of allowing overwhelming fear to control your life.

You will find that the more you practice both of these, the easier they become and the faster you can bounce back from life’s bumpy road.

Affirmation Backfire

Having been on a path of self-improvement and positive motivation, I have spent the past decade or so raising my daughter to have a good self-image, great self-esteem, and positive self-talk. This has all come through help from many of my mentors, most importantly through Dr. Larry Markson. Because of his influence, my daughter has been taught to set goals by October 1st every year, she has been pushed to read motivational books, and has her entire closet door of her bedroom plastered with her dream board.

Sophie has been taught that she can manifest anything into her life that she wants. It wasn’t until about 5 years ago that she actually started believing in the power of thoughts and that she can attract anything into her life that she desires. So, she spends time focusing on what she wants, yet still has days that she needs some motivational support.

She turned 16 this year, which meant that she got her own car and has become independent. Trying to teach her some responsibility outside of the home, we pushed her to get a summer job, so she could earn some spending money and start paying for some of her own gas.

This summer arrived and she got a job at the local pizza buffet place that also has a salad bar and fried chicken, etc. Sophie has been raised with the best of things and has traveled the world with us. She is a complete “girlie girl” and was initially mortified that the restaurant requires employees to wear no nail polish (blasphemy!).

Three days into her job of bussing tables, (where each employee initially begins training), she came home after her shift in tears. As she began to tell her story of the 400 pound man demanding white meat chicken and her desire to tell him to eat more salad instead, her voice got heightened, the tears were rolling, and she became more and more upset. “I don’t know what I was thinking taking this job. People are slobs. I don’t like pizza, I don’t like fried chicken, I can’t stand country music, and I don’t like picking up after people.” As we tried to calm her, we assured her that most teenagers start at one job and move around until they find something they like. We explained that each of us had jobs at her age that weren’t the greatest, even as far as talking about the jobs that we disliked but kept just so we could make money.

The next moment was one that I only wish I could have captured on a recording. As the tears rolled down her face and her sobbing breaths increased, she exclaimed, “But I don’t HAVE to have a job I don’t like. I AM A PRINCESS.”

For a moment, Rob and I were silent. We looked at each other with raised eyebrows and Rob said, “You know, WE created this.” And I responded, “Yep. We sure did.”

So, apparently, positive affirmations DO work. My daughter is the princess I taught her that she is. Fortunately, she also believes she can get anything she wants, so she moved right from the tears to filling out job applications.

Thanks to Sophie, I’ve added a new line to my affirmation:
I AM A QUEEN….

Why Can’t I Reach My Health Goals?

The following is an article that was recently published in my local paper with me  as a contributing writer.

As a natural health care professional for the past 17 years, I have helped thousands who have sought 100% physical, emotional, and nutritional health. In order to help you reach your 2013 goals, I will share with you 10 of the most common myths/mistakes that I have experienced.

1. Health comes from a bottle.
If you are one of those people who finds themselves taking pills (prescription OR non-prescription in order to relieve pain, it may be time to analyze what is actually causing your pain instead of covering it up. The body that made itself heals itself. You may be able to find a natural health care provider to help your body reach your true health goals.
2. Longer time in the gym equals more goals met.
Doing the same exercise every workout and for long periods of time may make the body get “stuck” at a plateau. Changing workouts and interval training (short bursts of high energy expended) can increase metabolism and lead to more weight loss.
3. If I sleep less I will burn more calories and lose weight.
High stress and not enough sleep can lead to increased adrenaline and cortisol levels. Adrenal burnout will make a person tired and unable to deal with life’s stress. High cortisol levels can lead to the inability to lose weight, especially around the waist. Making sure you get enough and good quality sleep can be key in weight loss. Meditation can be helpful in keeping your adrenals from working overtime and can help you cope better with stress on a daily basis.
4. I should weigh a certain amount according to my height.
“It’s just a number!” our society tends to put so much emphasis on the scale. Get rid of your scale and start working on a leaner physique and healthier BMI.
5. If I lift weights, I will get big.
Weight lifting burns calories AND increases metabolism. A person can lift weights to tone and not put on mass, if that is what they so desire. However, muscle weighs more than fat and healthy muscle to fat ratio can actually help a person increase the calories they burn daily.
6. I’m thin, so I’m healthy.
If you have ever heard of the term “Skinny Fat” you know what I mean. Many times, the thinnest people actually have the most unhealthy body compositions. Those people (the model type bodies) have internal fat around their organs which can actually lead to more health problems. Being thin doesn’t necessarily mean healthy.
7. If I eat less I will lose weight.
Limiting food intake and calories too drastically can cause the body to go into starvation mode and may actually lead to weight gain. Eating the right amount and combination of foods can be detrimental in weight loss.
8. All carbohydrates are created equally, all proteins are created equally, and
all fats are created equally.
A diet high in grains, an excess of dairy and soy, grain fed meat, unhealthy fats, and processed foods can lead to inflammatory diseases and unhealthy weight. If you are gluten sensitive or suffer from an inflammatory disease such as diabetes, fibromyalgia, irritable bowel syndrome, chronic fatigue, ADD/ADHD, arthritis, (and many more), it might be time to assess your diet and eliminate those foods that cause inflammation.
9. I eat healthy, therefore I don’t need to take vitamins.
Our food sources are not what they were 100 years go and our ground is nutrient deficient. Therefore, we all need some vitamin support from whole food supplements (not synthetic) in order to get the right vitamins we need. Seek the help of a natural health care provider for quality whole food vitamins.
10. It’s in my genes to be overweight and to have pain.
Some people think that genetics play a big role in weight and health. Over the years, I have found that it is much more than genes that form our health. Families that live together tend to eat the same foods, drink the same water, and develop the same exercise routines. Analyzing your family’s past and current habits may show you some unhealthy patterns and therefore give you a chance to fix what you once thought was not possible.

Of course, there are many, many more reasons why people get “stuck” and can’t reach their health goals. The first step involves merely setting those goals and writing them down.

Cheers! To a happy and healthy 2013 to you and yours.

Dr. Dawn Cadwallader is a licensed chiropractor and nutritional counselor. She owns ProHealth Chiropractic and specializes in gentle family chiropractic, doctor assisted detox and weight loss, and nutritional counseling. She holds monthly classes at her office (free of charge) and offers a no charge tour for anyone who wants to check out what she may have to offer them for their health needs. (608) 318-2410

Seminar High

Any person who has ever attended a weekend seminar, whether it be for chiropractic, self-improvement, or otherwise, knows what I mean when I speak of “seminar high.”

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to spend two and a half days with The Markson Connection.  A chiropractic management group per se, it is nothing like any other I have ever experienced in my 17 years in chiropractic practice.

I joined The Markson Connection in 2009, after attending Larry Markson’s Cabin Experience (a life changing event that freed my mind of everything that held me back from true happiness).  Since the day my membership began, my life has been altered due to not only the coaching and mentoring that I have gotten, but also through the practice skills and personal empowerment tools I have learned.  This past year, I have been blessed enough to become one of its team of coaches that is on a mission to change the lives and practices of chiropractors around the world.

This weekend not only filled me with positive energy, but also helped me regain momentum, find more purpose in my life, and clear my thoughts so that  I could come home as the leader I know I need to show up as for my office Team.

Besides all of those things, I also had the great opportunity to spend time with my Chiropractic Family whom I have grown to love so dearly and unconditionally.  The time to bond and share of ideas and concepts is far the most valuable thing I take away from each Tribal Gathering.

Coming home on a “seminar high” is something that I, my family, and my office Team look forward to each time I return from one of these remarkable events.

The love I hold in my heart on this Valentine’s Day is for all of those people who add to my life and help me reach the abundance that I strive to attract into my life.  The gratitude I have for each and every one of you is immeasurable.

With Love and Respect,

Dawn

Thorns of a Purpose

The following is a guest blog from one of my best friends, Tony DeRamus.  Besides being an amazing chiropractor, Tony is also the author of the publishd book, The Secret Addiction.  I hope you enjoy his writing as much as I do, as it brought me to tears and warmed my heart. 

 

We are just beginning the year, and I wonder how many people have already given up on their New Year’s resolutions. My guess is that half of you reading this, that actually made resolutions, have stored them away until next year. Before January, these seemed to be pretty important and worthwhile goals. Was your goal to lose weight, reconnect with family members, or rid yourself of an addiction, like smoking?

On the other hand, some of you have stuck with this and have been willing to go through the “pain of change” to get what you want. I applaud you, and hope that you continue to succeed with your goals, no matter how difficult it may become. Change, such as getting rid of unhealthy habits, is not an easy task. It requires consistent effort and fortitude in the beginning. Even though it gets easier over time, most people are not willing to make the sacrifices in the beginning to get to the end result.

I am writing this because of an experience I recently had with a patient. I always assume patients that come to our office are there for one reason; to get better. However, some people lack the belief or desire to do so. Although some have just lost hope, there are some that are there to simply check one more thing “that didn’t work” off their list of reasons why they can’t get better.

Although I consider myself a very sympathetic person, I have a very difficult time understanding or dealing with excuses. This is true with the small things in life and the very large, like someone’s health and well-being. This particular patient who provoked this article proceeded to regurgitate all the reasons why he couldn’t get better versus the reasons why he could, or why he even wanted to improve.

This may be a surprise to you, but most of these were adversities that were created by him. Am I actually saying that we should begin taking responsibility for our actions and stop blaming other things for our situation? To a degree, yes. It is very difficult to improve in life if you are constantly pointing your finger at anything and everything, other than yourself. We should always look inward before looking outward when wanting to make change.

However, there are outside challenges, not created by us, which we need to learn to overcome. Even if the circumstance or challenge we are facing cannot be changed, we need to somehow find a way to embrace it to our best ability. This is not always easy, yet we have examples of people throughout the world facing hardships and very difficult situations that not only have overcome them, but utilize their misfortunes to help other people. We sit in awe of these individuals, and wonder how they do it. And as we should admire them, you need to realize that you are of the same origin, the same species, and have all the ingredients to do the same.

I have always been uncertain of the accuracy of the adage “everything happens for a reason.” Is it that, or is it just simply a characteristic of human behavior to optimistically see the good in everything? However, one thing is certainly true; adversity is a part of life. In fact, adversity is a necessary part of life. It may not seem fair at times, but situations such as these allow us to grow as individuals. Does that sound too cliché for you? Ask anyone who has overcome a difficult situation if they became more empowered or less empowered. I am certain you will find a consistent answer.

In the bible, Paul speaks of “a thorn in his side.” Although no person actually knows what this “thorn” in Paul’s side was, he even admitted that it had its purpose. The same applies to you as well. We all have our thorns. Some of you view your “thorns” as you do the thorns of a rose.  You view them as something that is there to prick you ultimately causing you to bleed. However, let’s take a closer look at the true purpose of a rose’s thorns.

The most commonly understood purpose of a rose’s thorns are for protection. It is nature’s clever way of protecting the rose from being eaten by the outside world. Your adversity is no different in that it teaches you many things about life and about people which, if you learn, will ultimately help protect you as well.

However, thorns are not primarily for protection. Nature forms them in a particular shape for clinging and climbing. The thorns shape prevents the rose from sliding back under its own weight. Our personal thorns can provide the same function by preventing us from “sliding back” into situations we know should be avoided. Sadly, most people ignore this purpose.

Most importantly is the thorns ability to help the rose climb to greater heights. This way the rose can get to higher elevations where there is the most sunlight. From this high vantage point, they can then spread over greater distances.

You are no different than a rose. Your challenges are your own personal thorns, and when utilized properly, you too will begin to see the world differently.

A Reflection and a Wish

Another amazing year has passed for me.  Typically, I enjoy spending a little bit of time on the last day of the year reflecting and giving gratitude for all that has happened in my life.  This year has been an interesting one for me.  Those of you close to me, as well as those who see me live out loud on Facebook, know most of what has gone on in my life this past year through photos and posts.

Instead of boring you with a recollection, I will merely tell you that it has been the best year of my life.  It’s quite an interesting thing to say for someone who used to focus on negativity and spend a lot of time in self-pity.  2012 gave me some of my biggest obstacles, triumphs, and failures all wrapped up into 12 short months.

The year also gave me the #1 biggest lesson of my life, and that is that I have the amazing gift to turn any negative situation into a positive one.

So, I will go through my 2012 months (in numerical order) and give you my wish for your 2013.   I just KNOW it’s going to be even better than the past year!

1. May you find your WHY and decide that the WHEN is NOW.
2. May you walk on the beach in the middle of the night with good friends and laugh until your belly hurts.
3. May you realize how lucky you are to have a mate who loves you through all your qualities AND faults.
4. May you establish your Lasting Purpose and have time and resources to pursue it.
5. May you make a decision to change a negative you feel about yourself and pursue the change with everything you’ve got.
6. May you spend your birthday with people you love and go home to people you love and realize that your life is so abundant with people who love you back.
7. May you reach a higher level professionally that brings you more fulfillment than you have ever had in your career.
8. May you have the ability to spend time with your children traveling to do what you love to do to only realize that they love it as much as you do.
9. May you put yourself out there, risk making a fool of yourself, and be able to say, “I did it.”
10. May you do something you never thought you would want to do, that may have scared you a little, to realize that you are afraid of nothing.
11. May you watch your children grow up and be able to say, “Wow!   I’ve done a great job.”
12. May you make bad choices, fall down (literally), stand back up again, face the biggest fear of your life, and look back and say, “Just for the memory, I would do it all over again.”

My second biggest lesson of 2012 was this:  Even though I cannot change the past, control the present, and that my future will surely be filled with many more mistakes…HAPPINESS is a choice.  And I choose IT.  I hope you do too.

Cheers for the best year ever in 2013!